Show me the Enterprise!
by Carlotta's twin
Summary: William Shanter gets a big surprise one day while hosting 'Show Me the Money'...Kirk and the gang beam down! Coincedence, or is there a plot line to this humourous story? Find out...inside! I am finished! Please review
1. Chapter 1

Show me the Enterprise!

By CT

Summary: William Shanter gets a big surprise one day while hosting 'Show Me the Money'...Kirk and the gang beam down! Coincedence, or is there a plot line to this humourous story? Find out...inside!

D/C: Don't own any Star Trek characters, Show me the Money, or Star Trek in general. Um...if I make the actor's personalities different from real life, I'm sorry. I've never met any of the actors, so I don't really know their personalities.

Author's Note: I legally flipped out when I first saw 'Show me the Money' and my dad (a wonderful Trekkie) said, "That's Captain Kirk!" "NO!" I screamed. "It's not...are you serious?" But he was. And so I wrote this.

Chappie One: A normal day...

William Shatner expected that today was going to be an ordinary day. He got up, got dressed, and went to the set for 'Show me the Money', his new game show. It wasn't much, but William liked it, and so therefore he went.

He remembered his Star Trek days very well. A fun career, he admitted. Playing the ladies'-man, hunky, decisive Captain Kirk. It had been a fun role, but Shatner was almost glad it was over. Still though, Shatner felt that he was a part of Captain Kirk...or, at least, Kirk was a part of him.

William sneaked through the back of the set and signed some autographs before the show. Then he went to makeup and was fully prepared to be the perfect game show host. "Show me the money." he whispered.

He walked out to the cheers of the audience and watched as a woman named Georgina lost $112,000. He took out a card which had the name of the next contestant. William's eyes bugged for a moment. _What?_ He thought. _Impossible...oh, man. Just get this under control. Don't look like a fool. _"Ha ha ha, folks!" Shatner said. "Seems like we've got a Trekkie out there. The next contestant is...Captain Kirk!" The crowd laughed along with William Shatner. He glanced at the production manager and gave a quick glare. The manager only shrugged. _What is going on?_ Shatner wondered.

"C'mon out, Kirk!" the actor joked. "Just don't stun me with a phaser!" More appreciative laughter.

"Maybe it's supposed to be you!" an audience member yelled.

Shatner laughed, hoping for a commercial break. "Hey, Scotty? Beam him down!"

There was more laughter, and then surprised shrieks: there was a flash of gold light and Kirk, Spock, and McCoy appeared. Applause sounded.

"Dammit, Jim, where are we?" McCoy asked.

"You're on Show me the Money!" Shatner said.

"This appears to be primitive entertainment, Captain." Spock reported.

_They look so much like our younger selves,_ Shatner thought. _But they're just obsessed fans...but how did they beam like that? _

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise representing the United Federation of Planets." Kirk said. The audience laughed and clapped. "What did I say that was so funny?" he asked McCoy.

"Dammit, Jim, how should I know?" McCoy asked.

"So, your favorite character is Dr. McCoy?" Shatner asked, hoping to gain control of the already out-of-control situation.

"Favorite character?" Spock said. "Dr. McCoy is no character. This man is insane, or behaving illogically."

"You really do sound like Leonard Nimoy." William told Spock. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Leonard, you say?" McCoy asked.

"Yes..."

"I'm Leonard, dammit!" McCoy snapped. "Leonard McCoy."

"No, Spock is Leonard. Leonard Nimoy."

"What are you talking about?" McCoy asked.

"Star Trek!" William said. "You know..."

McCoy glanced at Kirk.

"But you guys are Trekkies!" William said. "You have to know about Star Trek!" Spock raised an eyebrow. Shatner cleared his throat. "Space. The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.?" The crowd began to cheer.

"He knows." Kirk whispered. "But. How?"

"So, uh," McCoy said, "how do you know about this?"

Shatner laughed. "I played Captain Kirk on the TV show."

Kirk glanced at the man. "Hopefully when you were younger, because it'd be disgraceful for you to play me now."

"So, you are the famed Captain James Tiberius Kirk...notorious ladies' man and captain of the Enterprise?" Shatner asked, ignoring Kirk's comment.

"He knows too much." Kirk whispered to McCoy.

"Everyone knows you're a ladies' man, Jim." the doctor replied.

"We need to beam him up." Kirk said.

"If you are anxious about his knowledge, perhaps it would not be best to let him board the Enterprise." Spock cautioned.

"I'm the captain. Do as I say." Kirk snapped. He pulled out a communicator. "Kirk to Enterprise."

"Lt. Uhura here, Captain." Uhura responded.

"You've got Nichelle Nichols on!?" William asked.

"Who is that?"

"Allegedly Captain Kirk." Spock replied.

"Um..."

"Beam us up." Kirk ordered.

"Aye, sir."

There was an odd feeling in Shatner's stomach. _Is this what a beam-up really feels like?_ He wondered.

He looked around. They were on the bridge. He blinked and ran to the captain's chair. He felt it. It was really there... William went to Sulu's station and pressed a button. Sulu slapped his hand. "Hey! You can't do that!"

"Who is this, Keptain?" Chekov asked.

"William Shatner." Kirk replied.

"And that is..."

"Very funny, guys." William said. "Am I on Candid Camera or something? Okay, you've brought young lookalikes of Walter Koenig, George Takei, me, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Nichelle Nichols...but I'm not impressed."

"Who's he talking about?" Sulu asked. Chekov shrugged.

William ran to Spock's station and looked into the box. He went to Uhura's station. "It actually works." he whispered. He ran to the turbolift.

"Don't leave!" Kirk snapped.

"All of this...all of this is REAL!"

Will Shatner freak out? Will the other actors from Star Trek beam aboard? Find out...in the next chappie!


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please review- I love it when people do. Um...sadly enough, I don't have Nimoy's phone number, and I didn't want to make a fake one. Anyways, I really like this chappie, and I hope you do to...

Chappie Two: Freak outs and Insanity

"I find this incredibly hard to believe that we were on a television show." Kirk said. "You played me and this Nimoy person played Spock...it's impossible!" He laughed. "This must be some joke."

"The chances of us having a television show performed about us is-" Spock began.

"I don't want to hear calculations, Spock, I want to hear answers!" Kirk snapped.

"This man is insane." Spock replied. "There could be no show about us. He merely believes that we are people that he knows."

"No, no!" Shatner said. "Chekov was Walter Koenig...or Walter Koenig was Chekov, I guess. I was Captain Kirk, Leonard Nimoy was Spock..."

"Who played me?" McCoy asked.

"DeForest Kelley." William replied. "But he passed away."

"According to this guy, I'm dead, Jim!" McCoy said.

"Yes! You always say that whenever a redshirt dies!" Bill said. "And you always say, 'I'm a doctor, not a moon shuttle conductor' or 'I'm a doctor not an engineer' and stuff like that."

"For being insane, he certainly knows a lot about us." McCoy said.

"I'll prove it to you that I'm not insane!" Shatner said. "Let me call Leonard." McCoy raised an eyebrow. "Nimoy. Leonard Nimoy- Spock!"

"It's worth a try." Kirk said. He handed Bill his communicator.

"How do I work it?" he asked.

"I thought you were me." Kirk said.

"Our communicators were a prop," Bill said, "a piece of plastic. And besides, there's no numbers on here!"

"Why would you need numbers to call someone?" Uhura asked.

"Look, his number is..." Shatner said it. "Can you call him?" Uhura grabbed the communicator and dialed the number. She handed it back to him.

"Leonard? Leonard Nimoy?" Shatner asked. "You there?"

"Hey, Bill." a drowsy voice answered. "You do know it's only five in the morning out here..."

"I have something to tell you." Shatner said.

"Shoot."

"I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise."

"I thought they tore that set down years ago." Nimoy said.

"It's not a set. It's the real thing. Everything is here. The captain's chair, Uhura's station, Spock's weird box thing...Chekov's and Sulu's station...everything is here. It's the real thing."

"Bill," Nimoy said, "When you have too much to drink just take some aspirin and-"

"No!" William snapped. "I'm not drunk; all of this is actually here!"

"Uh-huh. Good night."

"NO!" Shatner said. "Please, listen. You know Spock, right?"

"I should know Spock." Nimoy said. He cleared his throat. "You are being illogical, William Shatner." he said in his Spock voice.

"That Nimoy does sound like you." McCoy said to Spock.

"Okay," Shatner said, "Now, you, Mr. Spock. Say something."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Don't raise your eyebrow, say something!"

"I am Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise."

"SEE?" Shatner yelled into his communicator. "It really is Spock!"

"Very funny, Bill. You put some episode on TV and pretend it's actually Spock." Nimoy said. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"You know Dr. McCoy, right?"

"Old Bones? Of course."

"He's standing right next to me." Shatner said, grabbing McCoy's arm.

"Bill, Kelley passed away a few years ago." Nimoy replied. "Please, just go to sleep!"

"No! I'm not talking about Kelley, I'm talking about McCoy!" Shatner replied.

"There's a difference?"

"One's the character and is alive, and the other's an actor who isn't." Shatner said. "The actual Dr. McCoy, the sarcastic and Vulcan-hating Chief Medical Officer-"

"That's me all right." McCoy said, laughing.

"He's right here next to me." Shatner said.

"Bill. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. Look, I'll call some folks. Just tell me where you are and we'll get you home safe and you can sleep this alcohol off."

"I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise!" Shatner said. "Lt. Uhura?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Shatner?" she replied.

"Beam him up here." Shatner ordered.

"Is that alright, Captain?" she asked Kirk.

"Yes. We should beam up the Spock actor if we've beamed up me, I guess." Kirk said.

"Pity we can't beam my actor up." McCoy said, a little sad he couldn't talk to his counterpart.

"One Dr. McCoy is enough." Spock said.

"Having two Vulcans isn't my kettle of fish either, Spock!" McCoy snapped just as the beaming began.

"Kettle of fish?" Spock repeated as Nimoy arrived. "That is an illogical comment."

"This is impossible." whispered Nimoy. "No. That's...me! But not me...I just...oh my...Bill, what is this?" Shatner only shrugged. He wasn't even sure.

"Leonard Nimoy," Kirk said, "this is the Enterprise."

Nimoy went up and poked Spock. He then poked him again. "This cannot be real. This can't be real. This is...real!"

"Are you sure you aren't drunk?" Shatner joked.

"How is this possible? I..." Nimoy shook his head. "There's McCoy. The actual good doctor. And...Kirk! Is everyone here? Chekov...Sulu...Uhura...Scotty?"

"He's in the Rec Room." Kirk said. "Gave him some time away from the engines."

"His bairns." Shatner added.

"Yeah! I...wow." Kirk said, staring at his counterpart. "These people are us."

"We have to get the other actors here!"

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Walter Koenig and George Takei were the next to beam up to the real Enterprise. Shatner had tried to tell them, but the two had, like Nimoy, thought he was going crazy. "What is going on?" Takei asked. "What the...what is going on?"

"There's...us." Koenig said. "Whoa. Us. But younger."

"That's the older us?" Sulu asked.

"Ugh. I'd rather remain young." Chekov said. "And vhere is my accent?"

"I don't know." Sulu said. "This is...crazy."

"No way." Takei replied. "That's seriously us!"

"No, it's not." Shatner said. "It's Ensign Pavel Chekov and Lt. Hikaru Sulu."

"Go ahead, chat with each other!" Kirk said. "Find out how the hell this is happening!"

"Um...you played me?" Sulu asked. The two actors tentatively went to their counterparts and began to speak.

"Next- Lt. Uhura." Kirk said.

"Her name is Nichelle Nichols." Nimoy said. "I'll call her." He grabbed the communicator and moved the dials around.

"How do you know how to use it?" Shatner asked.

Nimoy shrugged. "Well, I had a talk with Gene Roddenberry when I played Spock about how these communicators worked. I figured the real things worked the same way."

"Logical." Spock replied.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock." Nimoy said. "Ms. Nichols?"

"Oh, hey Leonard." Nichols replied.

"That is so weird." McCoy muttered.

"I'm on the Enterprise." Nimoy continued.

"Ha ha ha!" Nichols said. "Are you on the set for that new movie? I didn't think the original cast was going to be in Star Trek XI. Of course, a young Spock is going to be there, but I'm not sure about the older one. Is all the original cast going to be there?"

"Um, Nichelle-"

"Well, obviously not James or De." Nichols sighed. "You know, I'm getting sick of 'hailing frequencies open, Captain', you know? Honestly, I would hate to be the real Uhura." The real Uhura looked up. "I mean, even after playing her, if I hear the word 'frequency' one more time, I'm gonna cry."

"Exactly!" Uhura said. "Oh, please beam her aboard! Someone who understands me."

There was a beaming light. Nichols looked around. Uhura smiled at her. "Hi, I'm Nyota Uhura!"

"Wow." Nichols whispered. "I'm Nichelle Nichols and...I played you." She looked around. "Bill? George? Walter? Leonard?"

"Yes?"

"This is real?"

"Most definitely." Spock said.

"I...uh...wow." Nichols whispered. She looked around. "AHHHH!" Nichols screamed, jumping back. "De Kelley!? This is impossible!"

"What are you calling me? That actor?" McCoy asked. "I'm a doctor not an actor!"

"But you passed away."

"I'm not dead." McCoy growled. "Dammit, Uhura- I mean, Nichols."

"Uh...um." she glanced again at McCoy. "Is Scotty here?"

"He's in the Rec Room." Kirk said. "Why is everyone asking that?"

"Well, uh..." Nichols looked at the happy Uhura. She went over to the communication station and grabbed an earpiece. "All hailing frequencies open, Captain." she joked. "Oh, that gets old after you say it every episode..."

"I know what you mean!" Uhura said. "Well, in a manner of speaking. It's always Klingons calling or Romulans or something. The unexpected becomes so...expected."

"Yeah." Nichols said. The two began to talk.

"Vomen. They're insane." Chekov said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Koenig said.

"They are crazy. And..." Takei muttered, trying to think of a good word.

"...they behave illogically." Sulu finished.

"How did you think of that?" Takei asked.

"After you spend a few months with Spock you begin to think like him." Sulu answered.

"Just one thing." McCoy said. "I thought that this 'Leonard' Nimoy was supposed to be a Vulcan."

"Yes..."

"So why aren't you a green-blooded, pointy-eared hobgoblin?" McCoy demanded.

"Vulcans don't exist." Nimoy said.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "But I exist. So if I exist, Vulcans exist."

"Well, I mean," Nimoy said hurriedly, "we aren't capable of space travel yet so..."

"...if there are Vulcans we haven't seen them yet." Shatner finished.

"Hm." Spock said. "But you, Leonard Nimoy-"

"Dammit, just call him Nimoy!" McCoy snapped.

"You played me, so you must have acted the part of a Vulcan." Spock said.

"I did."

"I find it hard to believe that you accurately portrayed a Vulcan." Spock replied.

"We should show them the episodes." Takei suggested.

"Later." Kirk said. "First we need to get you in clothes."

"We are wearing clothing." Shatner said, gesturing to his suit.

"Well, not proper Starfleet attire." Kirk replied.

"Ve're not in Starfleet." Koenig said.

"But we do need some proper clothing." Nimoy cut in, pointing to his and Nichols' pajamas.

"We're casual too." Takei added.

"Yeah, it isn't every day ve get a blast from our past." Koenig said.

"Wouldn't it be a blast from the future?" Nichols joked.

"Shut up." joked Takei.

"That's my line." McCoy snapped.

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"It's been a long time." Shatner whispered, pulling on his gold shirt.

"I hate being a redshirt." Nichols complained, emerging from the dressing room. "And this short skirt! Jeez, I liked it when Starfleet switched to woman wearing pants."

"Ve didn't." Koenig joked.

"Starfleet switches to girls wearing pants?" Kirk asked. "Darn it."

Uhura frowned at him.

"Should we tour the Enterprise?" Nimoy asked.

"We already know it though, Leonard." Nichols objected.

"Stop calling him Leonard! I'm Leonard!" McCoy snapped.

"We've been to the sets," Nimoy continued, as though McCoy had not spoken, "but we've never been on the real Enterprise."

"You know, this Nimoy really is like Spock." McCoy said.

"How is that, Doctor?" Spock asked.

"You both ignore me."

"We can tour the Enterprise," Kirk said, "then I want physicals of all of these actors."

"Not the infamous McCoy physical!" Koenig groaned.

"Oh, they're infamous?" McCoy said. "Great!"

"Quick physicals, Bones." Kirk warned. "Not the torture I had to endure last week."

They walked into the Rec Room. Scotty was playing the bagpipes, with many ensigns watching appreciatively. Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu had been waiting for them, and for Scotty's reaction. The Chief Engineer was so engrossed with playing the bagpipes he hardly looked up. When he saw the captain, he went to full attention. "Aye...bloody hell!" Scotty cried. "No! This canna be happenin! Not again!"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's da radiation from the Gamma Hydra IV comet!" Scotty cried. "Dammit, I canna believe it's affecting ya again!"

"No!" Nimoy argued. "I'm not Spock."

"I suppose you're right." Scotty said. "Spock would show less emotion. Are ya a cousin or somethin of Spock's?"

"No." Shatner said. "We're actors."

"...what?"

"It's true." Uhura said, stepping from the shadows. "You see, that's not us."

"But it looks like ya...but older. Much older."

"Well, it's been 40 years since we've portrayed you all." Takei said indigently.

"I'm not blaming ya, Sulu...I mean...who are ya?" Scotty asked.

"This is William Shatner aka me," Kirk said, "Leonard-"

"Just call him Nimoy!" McCoy growled.

"Nimoy aka Spock, George Takei aka Sulu, Walter Koenig aka Chekov, and Nichelle Nichols aka Uhura." Kirk finished.

"Where's Dr. McCoy and me?" Scotty asked.

"DeForest Kelley and James Doohan passed away." Nichols said.

"I'm dead?" Scotty said.

"Happens to the best of us." McCoy replied.

All of them walked to the Engineering Room, with Scotty eagerly conducting the way. "And this is where the impulse power is generated." Scotty said. "Boys, turn off da matter-antimatter chamber. Ya will be able to go inside it in a few moments." He opened the door. "Ya see, it's generated by-"

"Mr. Scott," Spock said, "Perhaps it would be best if you did not tell people of the past about mechanisms of the future."

"Well, I thought they already knew and I was just showing em." Scotty replied.

"It's alright." Koenig said. "Can we go inside now?" Scotty nodded.

"It's the exact same as the chamber in Star Trek II." Takei wondered. Spock raised an eyebrow. All of them went inside except Shatner. He glanced at the console. The truth hit him faster than he could imagine.

"All of this really is real. All this technology..." He glanced at the matter-antimatter chamber. Nimoy was leaning against the glass, soaking it all in. He glanced at Shatner.

"Jim." he whispered. Kirk turned around, but Nimoy was looking at William. "Ship...out of danger?"

Shatner laughed. "Yes."

"Don't grieve, Admiral." Nimoy said.

"I become an Admiral?" Kirk asked.

"It is logical." Nimoy continued. "The needs of the many..."

"Outweigh the needs of the few..."

"Or the one." Nimoy replied. "Let's just skip to the good part."

"Let's."

"I have been and always shall be your friend." Nimoy whispered. He put his hand in the Vulcan salute and placed it against the glass. "Live long and prosper."

Shatner tried to do the same. "Dammit, I still can't do that Vulcan salute!"

"Onto sickbay." McCoy said. "I wonder if that DeForest Kelley did as infamous a physical as I do."

What will be the results of McCoy's infamous physical? Why is the Enterprise in the past, anyway? And will the trip to the past be as easy as planned? Find out...in the next chappie!


	3. Chapter 3

Chappie Three: It's always their fault!

The cast of Star Trek went to sickbay. McCoy pulled each of the actors one by one into his office. Shatner was first. "So, I'll finally get a real physical from you." William said. "Just great."

"It is." McCoy replied. "Anyway, this is a-"

"Scanner." Shatner finished. "De made one of those out of a salt shaker."

"He must have been a damn good inventor then." McCoy replied. "Hold still." He scanned Shatner. "Hm...interesting."

"What?"

"You're in fine health."

"That's interesting?"

"I thought medieval humans were either starving themselves or engorging themselves." McCoy answered. "But aside from a few minor problems, you are fine. Bring in Sulu...or Takei or whatever his name is."

"That's it?"

"Jim ordered for it to be quick. Maybe if we get the chance I'll give you a full physical."

"No thanks." Shatner quickly left.

"Well? How was it?" Takei asked.

William thought back to his Star Trek days. "'Gonna crack my knuckles and jump for joy, I got a clean bill of health from Dr. McCoy!'" They laughed. McCoy poked his head out.

"Stop quoting that Adam kid and get in here!" he snapped.

The laughter died down instantly. "That vas a real trip you made?" Koenig asked.

"Yes." McCoy answered. "Why are you getting your accent back?"

"Spending time vith my younger self...or a copy of my younger self has brought it back." Koenig replied.

"Great. Another Russian accent to give me a migraine." McCoy muttered. "Takei, get in here!" He tentatively walked in.

"We really portrayed real Enterprise adventures?" Nichols asked.

"I guess so." Nimoy replied. Silence. Takei walked out.

"Everything is normal." he said.

"Dr. McCoy?" Koenig asked. "Have you ever encountered a creature that needs salt to surwive?"

"The salt vampire." Takei added.

"And it was disguised as your former girlfriend, Nancy Crater?" Nichols said.

"The M-113 creature. Yeah, I've seen it." McCoy replied.

"And has Spock ever lost his brain?" Nimoy asked.

"Yeah, and I got to put it back in. After a few arguments with Spock, I sorta regretted it." McCoy joked.

"All of our episodes were real." Nimoy whispered. "How? Did Gene...this is impossible!"

"But it's happening." Takei said.

"Nichols, you're next." McCoy snapped. She walked in.

"How is everyone?" Uhura asked, walking into sickbay, carrying a tray of food. "Want something to eat?"

"Future food!" Takei said happily.

"Any colored cubes?" Nimoy asked.

"I tried to keep the food in your era." Uhura said, pulling out some sandwiches. "But I brought some tranya."

"That was grapefruit juice." Shatner said, taking a glass. "Hm. Tastes like grapefruit."

"What is grapefruit?" Uhura asked.

"Never mind."

"Nimoy, come in here!" McCoy growled. The actor obeyed as Nichols walked out.

"Thank you, Uhura." Nichols said, grinning at her counterpart.

"My pleasure, and please, call me Nyota." Uhura replied.

Shatner stared at her. "So that's your first name? I never knew that!"

Kirk and Spock walked in. "Hello everyone." Kirk said, frowning slightly. "The doctor done?"

"He's still got Walter to examine." Shatner replied.

"Hope he hasn't been torturing you." Kirk said.

"Actually, it vas better than expected." Koenig said.

"Hm. Wish I could get that treatment." Kirk muttered. "Anyway, who created this show...Star Trek?"

"Gene Roddenberry." Nimoy answered, walking out of the office.

"Alright, Koenig, come in here." McCoy snapped.

"I've never heard of this 'Gene Roddenberry'." Kirk said.

"You haven't? He's famous!" Nichols replied.

"Fame, Ms. Nichols, is very fleeting to most." Spock replied. "A stone lasts 300 years. Popularity lasts 30 minutes."

"15 minutes of fame." Takei added.

"How did Roddenberry learn all about us?" Kirk asked.

"I don't know." Shatner replied. "I never knew any of this was real- I never thought to ask."

"Is he still alive?" Spock asked.

Takei shook his head.

"Pity." Kirk muttered.

"I have a question." Nimoy said.

"Yes, Leonard?" Kirk asked.

"Dammit, I'm Leonard!" McCoy snapped, walking out of the office with Koenig behind him. "He's Nimoy!"

"I was wondering," Nimoy began, ignoring McCoy, "how you got into the past anyway."

"Good question." Kirk said. "We were travelling around Earth to beam down to San Francisco for some shore leave. Then...well...something began to pull us."

"A tractor beam?" Koenig asked.

"Affirmative." Spock replied.

"We kept getting pulled toward the sun by some unseen vessel." Kirk continued. "We were worried that it was going to pull into the sun, but instead we were forced into the slingshot effect. We travelled to Earth, hoping it hadn't launched us back too far..."

"Wait. How did a tractor beam get enough energy to pull you back in time?" Shatner asked.

"It would take an estimate of 200.234 gigawatts to pull the Enterprise to 2007." Spock said.

"But that's an estimate." McCoy growled.

"Yes, Doctor."

McCoy sighed. "We can argue about your warped sense of mathematics later, let Jim continue." he said.

"The Enterprise travelled to Earth," Kirk continued, "we listened to some radio frequencies. My name showed up. It was you, Will, saying that I was the next contestant. We didn't exactly know what you meant, but I decided that it must have been you or some other being on this primitive Earth that pulled us back in time. So we beamed down."

"But no one could have pulled you back here." Nichols said. "It's impossible! At least for the time being."

"That's the problem." Kirk replied. "Who did this?"

"We've got another situation too, Jim." McCoy said. "I sort of lied to you all about your physicals."

"What?" the cast members exclaimed. "Why?"

"Well, I didn't know how to tell you." McCoy said. "You're in fine health, which was surprising. I once read a survey that all of the past humans of Earth in this era were overweight because they ate at this restaurant...McDouglas."

"McDonalds." Takei corrected.

"Whatever." McCoy growled. "Anyway, the point is that you are in fine health. That's not the situation. The situation is that...all of you have the same DNA."

"Do we look like twins?" Takei joked, pointing to himself and Koenig.

"Not you two. Between yourselves and the people you portrayed." McCoy said. "William Shatner registered as Captain Kirk on my scanner. Older, of course, a bit more overweight...but still James Kirk. Koenig showed up as Chekov, Nichols was Uhura, and Takei should be Sulu! The only difference was Nimoy and Spock. Obviously, Nimoy's no Vulcan. But you two are so close in DNA you could have had the same mothers. It's damn perplexing!"

"It's perplexing," Kirk admitted. "But it's not a problem. The problem is: who pulled us back to Earth?"

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Chekov and Sulu were at their stations. "Is that really what we're going to look like when we're older?" Sulu asked Chekov about their counterparts.

"Maybe if ve diet or something ve vill look different." Chekov said.

"I wonder if we're famous. Really famous." Sulu said.

"Let's find out." Chekov put the news channel on the screen.

"Hey, that's us!" Sulu said.

"That's all of the actors." Chekov corrected. "Vhat's going on?"

"Star Trekked out of this World." the announcer said. "I'm Carlotta Richards and I'm reporting on the top story.

"It began when William Shatner, who played Captain Kirk on the TV series _Star Trek_ and current host of _Show me the Money_ mysteriously disappeared. He was hosting his new show when a 'beaming' occurred. The exact replicas of William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley when they were younger beamed down." Footage played of the incident. "William Shatner spoke with these people, who believed they really were Captain Kirk, Spock, and Dr. McCoy. The 'Kirk' whispered something, there was a 'beaming' and William Shatner disappeared.

"A few minutes later, a paparazzi tape shows Leonard Nimoy talking on his phone on his porch." Footage showed an exasperated and tired Nimoy speaking. "There was another 'beaming' and Nimoy disappeared.

"Walter Koenig, George Takei, and Nichelle Nichols all were reported missing by their close friends and spouses. One gardener reports seeing Mr. Takei 'beaming up'. Everyone missing shares one common factor: each of them played an important role in the TV series Star Trek." Footage showed the young actors portraying the bridge members.

"They really look like us!" Sulu exclaimed.

"Ve could have been clones of each other." Chekov agreed.

"If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of any of these people, please call 1-800-STAR-TREK."

"We should call." Sulu joked.

"Yeah." Chekov agreed. "Tell them they're on the Enterprise. That vould be a shocker."

"No kidding." Sulu laughed.

"This just in." Carlotta exclaimed. "Photos of an UFO taken by NASA."

Sulu gasped. "It can't be us. We're too far up...aren't we?"

"In the exosphere." Chekov said. "Avay from any satellites."

"Then what are they getting a picture of?" Sulu wondered.

The photo appeared. "Oh shit." Chekov muttered.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk. Come in, this is urgent!" Sulu exclaimed.

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"What is it, Mr. Sulu?" Kirk asked in sickbay.

"Pictures." Sulu whispered. "Sharp, clear pictures."

"Of vhat?" Koenig asked.

"Klingon bird-of-prey." Sulu answered. He put it on the screen.

"Dammit." McCoy muttered. "Look at the size of that. It's enormous!"

"Scotty?" Kirk asked, punching a button. "I'm showing you a Klingon ship in space. Right now. Would it be powerful enough to pull us into the past?"

"Aye, Cap'n." Scotty replied. "I've never seen a Klingon ship that big. Must have ten engines to operate it."

"Well of course." McCoy snapped. "You can't estimate how many people it's got, or how much even the size of it. But when it comes to how many engines, you know it off the top of your head!"

"The Klingon ship would be 6.34 times the size of the Enterprise." Spock added.

"Another estimate, Spock?"

"Indeed, Doctor."

"So it's been the Klingons doing this." Kirk muttered.

"I'm not really surprised." Nichols said.

"Yeah." Uhura answered. "It's always the Klingons or the Romulans...it's always their fault!"

"Why would they do this?" Shatner asked. "Why waste time and power building a ship large enough to pull the Enterprise into the past? What's their motive?"

"Something sinister, no doubt." Nimoy added. "It's a wonder the Klingons joined the Federation..."

"The Klingons join the Federation!" Kirk yelled. "It's an outrage! As long as I've got a say in Starfleet that won't be happening!"

"Vell, the whole 'stealing the Enterprise' damaged your reputation a bit, Keptain." Koenig said.

"What?"

"Never mind." Takei intervened. "Just...what are we going to do?"

What are they going to do? What is the Klingon's plot? And is their significance in the fact that the actors and the bridge member's DNA is the same? Find out...in the next chappie!


	4. Chapter 4

Chappie Four: Chess...in a way...

"Open communications to the Klingon ship, Lt. Uhura." Kirk said on the bridge.

"Frequencies jammed." Uhura replied.

"As I expected, Captain." Spock said. "The Klingons obviously do not wish to speak with us."

"I don't care what they wish, we're speaking with them!" Kirk said.

"Can't we unjam a frequency?" Takei asked.

"That vould be too easy." Koenig replied.

"I wish we could just fire at the ship." McCoy said. "Dammit, there's no Starfleet telling us what to do here! Let's destroy the Klingon ship now and play innocent in the future."

"Doctor, that violence would be unnecessary and illogical." Spock replied. "The Klingon ship is-"

"Yeah, I know, 6 times the size of the Enterprise." McCoy muttered.

"Actually," Nimoy argued, "it's 6.34."

"Shut up."

"And it'd be useless to attack such a larger ship." Shatner finished. "Then what can we do?"

"I guess the only thing we can do is to find out the Klingon's next move." Kirk said. "Try to guess what they're going to do and their plan of attack. Any logical guesses, Spock?"

"He doesn't guess." Nimoy said. "He speculates."

"Exactly, Leonard." Spock replied, nodding to his counterpart.

"You're just doing that to piss me off, aren't you, Spock?" McCoy asked.

"That is his name." Spock said.

"I guess things can't be too bad if Spock and McCoy are still fighting." Nichols joked.

"That's nothing." Uhura said. "You should have seen the time when they thought Kirk was dead! They were going at it so bad..."

"You did think I was dead!" Kirk exclaimed. "And you did see that tape, didn't you?"

"Tape?" McCoy asked. "What tape?"

"Oh, I remember that episode!" Shatner said. "The Tholian Web, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Takei said. "That was a crazy episode."

"I got to try to hit you, Leonard." Koenig laughed.

"His name is Nimoy!" McCoy snapped.

"And you saw Captain Kirk in the mirror but no one believed you. You were restrained in sickbay." Nichols said to Uhura.

"Yeah, I did not deserve that-"

"Any logical guesses, Spock?" Kirk asked loudly.

"The Klingon ship forced us to beam Mr. Shatner aboard. Obviously their plot has to do with showing beam ups. And showing their own vessel as well. They could easily hide their vessel but they chose not to."

"If we can't even attack the ship," Shatner said, "how are we going to get it back to the future?"

"It would be most illogical for the Klingons to stay in the past." Spock replied. "Their plan should, logically, involve them returning to the present."

"Since when have Klingons been logical?" McCoy asked.

"They haven't." Nimoy replied.

"Yeah, they're always causing trouble." Takei said.

"And trying to destroy Federation ships." Koenig added.

"They're just evil in general." McCoy said.

"Maybe that's why tribbles don't like them." Nichols wondered.

"You've met tribbles!" Uhura exclaimed.

"They were furry pillows." Shatner said. "We didn't meet the real things."

"Thank God!" McCoy snapped. "Those things are annoying."

"They're cute!" Uhura argued.

"They're off the subject!" Kirk exclaimed. "We have to find out what the Klingon ship is going to do next."

"Like playing chess." Spock said. "We are on the defense. We must interpret their attack, and create a counter-attack that will leave them with no other options: a checkmate."

"Damn great chess game we're in." McCoy muttered. "I don't remember signing up to play the Klingons."

"I was speaking figuratively, Doctor."

"Yes, Spock, I sort of guessed that." McCoy said sarcastically.

"Let's check out CNN." Shatner advised.

"Yeah, the news network is monitoring the Klingon ship." Takei said.

Sulu pressed a button and the channel popped up.

"Star Trekked." Carlotta was saying. "The search continues- not just for Spock," she chuckled at her lame joke, "but for all of the main characters of Star Trek. And later on, a closer look at the strange UFO hovering over Earth. A key to the disappearances of Shatner, Nimoy, Takei, Koenig and Nichols, or another plot all together? This is Carlotta Richards speaking on tonight's top story.

"It all began when many of Star Trek's main characters mysteriously disappeared, apparently at or within the same time. A few hours after the disappearances, a picture of an unidentified flying object taken by NASA, used with permission, was taken. 'Trekkies' quickly realized that the UFO was really a...Klingon bird-of-prey." A picture of the Klingon bird-of-prey was shown, then compared with a Klingon bird-of-prey from the TV show was used. "Note the similarity."

"Yeah, like it's hard to miss!" McCoy snapped.

"Vhy are you talking to the screen?" Koenig said. "It's distracting."

"Your Russian accent is distracting!" McCoy replied.

"You are such a racist." Nimoy said.

"Shut up."

"Terrible to Vulcans and Russians-"

"Dammit, I'd be just fine with both if Vulcans weren't so damn logical and Russians had a better accent and less of an ego!" McCoy said.

"An ego?" Chekov asked.

"Yes!" McCoy growled. "Everything is from Russia! Scotch, Alexander the Great, the Garden of Eden...dammit, everything is from Russia according to Russians! In other words, yes, you do have an ego! It's as big as the Fesarius!"

"Well-"

"Incoming message, Captain!" Uhura said, rushing over to her station. "The Klingons! They've unjammed the frequency."

"So they can unjam frequencies but we can't?" Nimoy said.

"So unfair." Takei muttered.

"Put them on speaker." Kirk ordered. "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. What are you doing? You are going against-"

"Yes, I know." sneered the Klingon commander. "The Prime Directive."

"What are you doing?" Kirk repeated.

"I thought you had a Vulcan on board." the Klingon said. "Hasn't he figured it out if your puny human mind can't?"

Kirk glanced at Spock. "You are behaving in a most illogical manner that I am unable to decipher."

The Klingon laughed. "Illogical to you, maybe, but not to us."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

It was Shatner who first thought of it. "You aren't worried about provoking the wrath of Starfleet because..."

"...Starfleet won't be there when we return." Kirk finished. "You're going to erase Starfleet from history!"

"Of course." Spock said. "The Klingons will act in such a manner that will frighten the primitive Earth people-"

"Who you calling primitive?" Takei muttered.

"-And the humans will be so frightened they will not wish to explore deep space-"

"-So they'll never met the Vulcans!" Nimoy cried.

"And the Federation vill never exist!" Koenig finished.

"Exactly." the Klingon said. "Our wildest dream. The Federation will be finished, as will the Enterprise and the cast of the Enterprise."

"How did you know about Star Trek?" Nichols asked.

"We, unlike some lazy Federation bums," the Klingon replied, "know how to use a history card. In fact, that history card is how we're going to show the Earth about how terrible life in space is. On that history card, an author's name popped out. H.G. Wells. Heard of him?"

"Shit." whispered Nichols. "The War of the Worlds."

"Just imagine the wonderful city of San Fransisco, the birth place of the Federation." the Klingon laughed. "When phasers, or heat-rays, explode from the sky and destroy the whole city. The same will be happening to New York, London, Ho Chi Min City, Sydney, Hong Kong, Berlin...every major city that you can think of. After being destroyed by aliens, do you really think they're going to want to explore space?"

"You really are sneaky. So you put Kirk's name in the envelope for the next contestant," Shatner said, "so he'd beam me up? And I'd want to beam up the rest of the cast..."

"Chain reaction, puny human." the Klingon said. "The world's already on tenter-hooks because of you all's disappearance and the 'UFO' sighting, wait till they've been phasered! Ha!"

"Well, Jim," McCoy muttered, "I don't know about you but I think this is one hell of a chess game we're in. We should start thinking of a checkmate."

"One last thing." Nimoy said. "Why are you telling us this?"

"Yeah." Takei whispered to Koenig. "We can just beam down and warn everyone about the attack!"

"But the Prime Directive..." Kirk moaned.

"Dammit Jim!" McCoy snapped. "We have to save the Federation here! Without the Federation there'll be no Prime Directive to follow!"

"True." Kirk said. "You think you are so tough, you Klingons. By exposing your plan to us you're exposing it to the world!"

"I don't think so, Captain Kirk." the Klingon said. "Because there will be no one left alive on the Enterprise to tell the tale. Vorg out."

"What does he mean by-" Koenig began, before he was cut off by a wailing Klaxon alarm.

"Scotty to da bridge!" the Engineer cried. "Something has beamed into da transporter room!"

"Red Alert. Send Security there-" but it was too late. Five Klingons rushed aboard the bridge.

_My first real fight scene_, Shatner thought. He had been involved in many fake ones, but had never really fought any alien. The Klingons were shooting on kill, but luckily no one was hit. Shatner tried to hit a Klingon by slamming his hands against the neck of a Klingon, but the alien only shoved the actor against a wall. "What are you doing?" Kirk asked, punching a Klingon.

"Isn't that how you fight?" Shatner asked.

"No!" Kirk responded. "Just punch him!" He demonstrated.

"Well, Gene wasn't right about everything." Shatner muttered, following suit.

Nimoy was pleasantly surprised to see Spock nerve pinching. He vaguely wished he could do the Vulcan Nerve Pinch for real.

"They're very strong- stronger than what I'd expect for a bunch of Federation scum." a Klingon said.

"You know what to do," another Klingon said, running to the turbolift.

The Klingon pulled out a sphere of some sort. Kirk's eyes widened. "LEAVE!" he screamed. "Go now!"

"What?" Nichols asked.

"Leave! Get to the turbolift!" Kirk ordered. The bridge members let the actors go first. Nimoy, however, was by the screen, so he only ducked. The Klingon rushed out of the room, throwing the sphere above their heads.

A deafening explosion occurred, and white light half-blinded Nimoy. He looked around. Kirk was collapsed on the captain's chair, and an unconscious Uhura was ducking behind her chair. Sulu and Chekov were both knocked out. Spock was stirring slightly.

"Spock?" Nimoy asked. "What was that?"

"A grenade of sorts. It causes...internal damage." Spock answered, his eyelids fluttering. "Potentially lethal. Did any of the light hit you?"

"No."

"Then you will be safe." Spock said. He glanced around. "Another situation is arising, Leonard."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Kirk, I, and the rest of the bridge will be unable to perform our duties." Spock said, gasping for breath.

"That's okay...well, at least, Scotty can assume command of the Enterprise."

"No...no." Spock argued. "William Shatner will."

"What?"

"William's DNA matches Jim's. According to Dr. McCoy, Shatner is Kirk. And Kirk is captain. So therefore-"

"Shatner will assume command because he 'is' Kirk."

"And Nichols will be communications officer, and Koenig navigator and-"

"I get the point."

"You are the only exception." Spock continued, almost frowning in pain. "You do not share my DNA. Therefore, I place you as Acting Science Officer and Acting First Officer."

"But...Spock, please!" Nimoy begged. "You have to stay on the bridge; Kirk and the others too! We can't command a starship! Dammit, we acted you all but we can't fill your shoes!"

"I fail to understand why filling shoes has anything to do with commanding a ship." Spock said.

"Why can't we...oh, I don't know, inform Starfleet about this so Scotty can be Acting Captain?" Nimoy asked.

"Were I human I would laugh." Spock replied. "Starfleet will not be created for 102.34 years. I regret that this is only an estimate. Also, if you do not act now, there will be no Starfleet to inform to. You must learn."

"What do you mean?"

Spock raised his hand in the Vulcan salute. "Remember." he whispered, and moved his hand toward Nimoy's face.

"NO!" Nimoy screamed, jumping backward. "I won't carry your katra!"

"You will not be carrying my katra." Spock said. "Only my memories." He placed his fingers on Nimoy's face.

Nimoy could tell that normally mind-melds were supposed to be organized- only a few memories passing between them. But Spock was in pain, and human emotions stirred more when he was in pain, causing a logical mind-meld to be a little more sloppy and emotional. Nimoy gasped in surprise as blankets of memories crowded his mind- a view of Vulcan from the highest mountain, learning chants when he was a young boy in a Vulcan school, trying to hide his human self (much to the disappointment of his mother), but failing (much to the disappointment of his father). Vulcans teased him for being emotional and part human, he tried so hard to master logic, but still frowned when they served chi ti leaves at lunch...those and hundred more memories came tumbling into his mind. His friendship with Kirk, his friendly rivalry with McCoy, his duty, his logic, his information on the Enterprise and of space came twirling into Nimoy's mind. Who am I? He wondered. Am I Spock? Am I Leonard Nimoy? Spock placed his fingers off Nimoy's face. "You are both." Spock said, answering him. "You now know everything you need to know..." Spock panted slightly, his mouth agape.

"Live long...and prosper, Spock T'Xa'Re." Nimoy whispered.

"Live long and prosper, Leonard Nimoy." Spock said back before collapsing.

"Dammit, I'm Leonard!" McCoy screamed, running onto the bridge.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for reviewing everybody! Here's...

Chappie Five: Blissfully Unaware...

"Will they survive, Doctor?" Nurse Chapel asked in sickbay, after Kirk and the bridge members were taken down for examination.

"Yes." McCoy said. "But they won't be up on their feet for a few days at least- maybe more if Jim insists on doing physical labor...which he will, of course..." He glanced at Shatner and the rest, who were standing around, unsure of what to do. "Get to the bridge. You'll need a plan of attack."

"What? Shouldn't...Kirk do that?" Shatner asked.

"Dammit, Bill, you are Kirk! Your DNA is the same- you are captain of the Enterprise!" McCoy snapped.

"What..." Shatner whispered feebly.

"Scotty can do it." Koenig said. "Or you-"

"I'm a doctor, not a captain- thank you very much." McCoy said. "I'd hate to be captain of anything. Except sickbay."

"You're the captain of sickbay in your own mind." Chapel muttered.

"Christine, get back to work!" McCoy snapped.

"Hey, Majel Barrett portrayed you." Nichols said. "She later married the creator of Star Trek."

"Creator?" McCoy muttered. "More like a rip-offer."

"Don't be mean." Takei said. "Maybe he didn't know about the real Enterprise."

"Can we beam up this Majel Barrett?" Chapel asked.

"No." McCoy said. "If we can't beam up my actor we can't beam up yours!" Chapel frowned.

"You can't beam up a corpse!" Koenig argued.

"We've beamed up worse." McCoy said indifferently.

"Quite." Nimoy agreed, walking into sickbay.

"Where were you?" Nichols asked.

"Studying some technical journals." Nimoy lied. "I'm trying to learn as much about the Enterprise as I can- you know, when we all take over the stations on the bridge."

"You won't." McCoy said. "You don't have the same DNA as-"

"Spock appointed me as Acting First and Science Officer." Nimoy interrupted.

"When did you two speak?" Takei asked.

"Before he passed out because of the Wh'Han bomb." Nimoy answered.

"How do you know its name?" Koenig asked.

"Spock told me." Nimoy lied. McCoy raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"You all should go to your stations." Chapel said. "We need to stop the Klingons before they attack the world!"

"This is heavy." Nichols whispered.

"What's weight got to do with it?" Chapel asked. (lol Back to the Future line)

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The actors walked into the bridge. Nichols slowly sat down in her communication station. She thought back to her acting days. Which button had she pushed to see if there was a communication? She mentally slapped her forehead. Why didn't she remember that? Admittedly, Nichols had never thought she'd be on the real Enterprise trying to communicate with real Klingons, but still... Ah, yes! That red button right there and that yellow one... Nichols punched them tentatively. "Communication request." the computer said in her headpiece.

"The USS Enterprise calling the Klingon vessel." she said.

"Communication open." the computer replied.

"I have the Klingons on, Bill!" Nichols said.

"Thanks..." Shatner replied. "Audio or visual?"

"Only audio." Nichols answered.

"Good. I want to try to trick the Klingons into believing we really are the bridge members." Shatner said. "I hope it works. Put me on speaker, Nichols." She pressed another button. "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise."

"Impossible!" the Klingon replied. "The Wh'Han bomb should have-"

"But it didn't." Shatner interrupted. Scotty arrived. "Now, for the terms of your surrender..."

"Ha! Don't make me laugh, Kirk." the Klingon said. "You don't have enough power to attack us- let alone win!"

"We will discuss the terms of your surrender in 2 minutes. Kirk out." Shatner said. Nichols punched another button. "Scotty, isn't there anything we can do?"

"Well, we could try to fire at em but I dunno think it can work." Scotty said. "Unless...the Klingon ship is fully shielded right now. That takes an enormous amount of power- especially for a ship that size! If we could try to disable some of the engines...the shields'll go."

"Takei, set a course for the Klingon ship."

He glanced at Shatner. Takei, like Nichols, tried to remember which buttons he had pressed. Those two! He pushed them. Course plotted to Klingon ship, unknown class, identifying code KL 12.98X. A screen below read. "Course plotted." Takei reported. McCoy walked on the bridge. "We should arrive there in 2 minutes."

"Actually, Mr. Takei," Nimoy said, "We will be arriving at the Klingon vessel in 134.23 seconds."

"Dammit." McCoy said, "I thought there were no Vulcans on the bridge."

"I am no Vulcan. I am human." Nimoy answered, raising an eyebrow. Nichols and Koenig glanced at one another.

"Uh-huh. Right." McCoy said sarcastically. "I might need to do another scan of you."

"But not right now." Shatner said. "I'm going to distract the Klingons. Koenig, fire photon torpedoes at the engines when we are close enough."

"How close is that?" Koenig asked.

"For the photon torpedoes to have an effect, 2,238 kilometers." Nimoy answered. "We are currently 59,087 kilometers away."

"But who's counting?" Takei muttered.

"Nichols, get me the Klingons." Shatner ordered.

"Aye, Captain- I mean, Bill." Nichols said, doing as instructed.

"This is James Kirk." Shatner said, smiling slightly. "We need your terms for surrender."

"I see you have moved closer." the Klingon said. "What are you trying to, fire at us with your little phasers? Ha! Don't make me laugh."

"3,012 kilometers away." Nimoy reported.

"Cap'n." Scotty said, "I'm giving all power to the photon torpedoes." Shatner nodded.

"So, you really think you can destroy the Federation?" Shatner asked. "You may destroy cities, but you can't destroy ideas! The Federation will live on, whether or not you attack San Fransisco or any other city! San Fransisco has gone through earthquakes, fires...as the old expression goes, 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger'. You cannot kill our ideas! You are only making them stronger!"

"Shatner's doing a wery good job of Kirk's dramatic speeches." Koenig whispered to Takei. Takei laughed.

"1,557 kilometers away." Nimoy reported, reminding them that this was not a fake scene that Gene Roddenberry had created, but a real fight that could alter the course of human history. "I must admit," he continued to the Klingons, "that it was highly illogical of you to tell us of your plan. It is like telling an opponent their move and suitable counter-moves in chess."

"Jeez." McCoy muttered. "Either that Nimoy's a good actor, or he's part Vulcan."

"Unless it isn't all acting..." Nichols mused.

"You fools!" the Klingon snapped. "You act like you can really stop us! We are bigger than you, faster than you...you can't beat us!"

"His arrogance is extremely illogical, Captain." Nimoy said.

"Quite Ni- Mr. Spock." Shatner said.

"What were you going to say?" the Klingon asked.

"What do you mean?" Shatner replied, looking a bit panicked.

"You were about to say something else- what was it?"

"How much farther?" Shatner asked.

"1412 kilometers away." Nimoy answered.

"I want visual communication!" the Klingon screamed. "Now, the alleged Kirk!"

"Alleged? I am Kirk!" Shatner snapped.

"3 kilometers and closing." Takei whispered. "2..."

"Fire, Chekov!" Shatner cried.

Koenig pressed a button, remembering it to be the one he always hit. A memory of his came rushing to his mind- he remembered that Gene Roddenberry had told him exactly which button to push. 'That red one's the ticket.' the creator of Star Trek had said. 'Always push that one.' And Koenig had obeyed.

"Got 'im!" Koenig cried.

"Direct hit on the engines!" Scotty said. "Their power's cut by at least one half!"

"Fire phasers at the engines again!" Shatner cried.

"Another direct hit." Nimoy said, calm as a Vulcan.

"They are losing warp drive!" Scotty reported happily.

"Fire at will, Koenig." Shatner said.

He did so. The main engines were blown off, as was part of the 'wing' of the ship.

"So, you want the terms of our surrender?" the Klingon asked weakly.

"I would." Shatner replied.

"Too bad." the Klingon snapped.

"They're leaving!"Koenig reported.

"Their course is to the sun." Takei said.

"They will be attempting the slingshot effect, but will fail with so little power." Nimoy said.

"We did it." Shatner said. "All of us. Good job."

"No problem, Bill."

"We were apt for the job, Mr. Shatner." Nimoy said.

"What is wrong with you, Leonard?" Nichols asked.

"I'm Leonard!" McCoy snapped.

"There is nothing wrong with me." Nimoy replied. "I'm physically and mentally well."

"No one is mentally well when they're speaking like a Vulcan!" McCoy argued. Nimoy raised an eyebrow.

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A few days later, all of the real bridge members were out of sickbay and onto the bridge where they belonged. Kirk was talking to Shatner about how he would have handled the situation, Sulu and Chekov were showing their counterparts what all the buttons did, and Spock and Nimoy were speaking about tricorders. "So that's how they really work!" Nimoy exclaimed. The effect of the mind-meld was wearing off, but Spock's memories still remained.

Nichols and Uhura were talking about cosmetics. "So they really have no-run mascara in the future?" Nichols asked. Uhura nodded. "Wow. They advertise that it's no-run in this time period, but it isn't."

"Liars, those ad companies." Uhura said. "But you should see the lip balm. It takes two seconds, and your lips are fully moisturized!"

"No way!"

McCoy walked onto the bridge. "I've got the serum ready."

"What serum?" Takei asked.

"I'm sorry." Kirk said. "But...the Prime Directive...I can't let you all remember this."

"WHAT?"

"It's just a simple serum that causes you to forget what's happened in the last few days. I have to hypospray you all with it. I'm sorry." Kirk apologized again, looking downcast. "I wish I could let you all remember, but...the Prime Directive..."

"Damn the Prime Directive!" Nimoy snapped. "We helped save the Federation, and we won't even remember it?"

"I have to agree with the fake Vulcan." McCoy said. "They already know all about us...I can't see the harm in letting them know it's real."

"For once, I have to agree with the doctor." Spock said. "I mind-melded with Leonard-"

"NIMOY!"

"and gave him many of my memories." Spock completed, ignoring McCoy. "Should he be injected with the serum and forget what has happened, but remembers my memories, then the results could be insanity."

"Keptain." Chekov said. "I von't let you do this."

"They're a part of us!" Sulu agreed.

Uhura nodded. Kirk glanced at all of them. "I guess I have to agree with you all." Kirk said. "You saved the Federation. Instead of a medal I'll just let you keep your memories."

"Fair trade." Nichols said.

"How are you going to fix the damage already done?" Shatner asked Kirk.

"Nothing like sabotage and fixing up the past." Kirk replied. "We'll just beam you down from the moment in time where we met."

"But then...von't ve forget anyway? I mean, if ve beam down in the past, von't ve forget this future has happened?" Koenig asked.

"I'll make sure you remember." Kirk said, smiling.

Four days ago later, they headed to the transporter room. "Goodbye." Kirk said to Shatner. "Good luck. I wish...we could meet each other again, but I doubt that will happen."

"It was an honor to meet the man I acted." Shatner said.

Nichols and Uhura began to cry, hugging each other. Koenig and Chekov were saying their goodbyes, and so were Takei and Sulu. Spock mind-melded with Nimoy one last time, perhaps showing his emotion to the actor. "Goodbye!" the bridge members said before the actors beamed down.

"Energize." Shatner whispered.

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Shatner looked around. He was in the makeup room. He could have sworn...no. He could have sworn he had been on the Enterprise... "Wow." Shatner whispered to himself. "Must be car fumes going to my head."

He walked out to the cheers of the audience and watched as a woman named Georgina lost $112,000. He took out a card which had the name of the next contestant. For a second he thought the name should have been 'Captain Kirk' but it was really 'Jim Adams'. The man won $100,000.

Shatner went home, his mind full of half-memories. He shook his head, confused. Why did he think he should be on the bridge of the Enterprise? Shatner grabbed a phone. "Hey, Leonard?"

"You do know it's five in the morning." Nimoy replied, but he sounded fully awake. "I've had the weirdest dream...it's about-"

"The Enterprise?"

"Vulcan. So many memories...it's so weird." Nimoy said. "I...I don't know how I know about all this stuff! Did you know Spock's last name is T'Xa'Re?"

"Gene never wrote Spock's surname."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Maybe it was just a dream..."

"I hope so. Night, Bill."

"Night."

Shatner turned on the television. "This is Carlotta Richards reporting. Blurry photos of a UFO have been identified by NASA to be a fallen satellite." He rolled his eyes.

"Get worked up over nothing. What'd they think, it was a Klingon ship?" Shatner asked.

He was about to go to out to eat when there was a knock at his porch door. The actor went out, looking around. There was no one there. Only a...Shatner leaned down to peer at it. A phaser and a note. What was going on? In closer inspection, he could see the letters James T. Kirk written on the side of the phaser. He looked at the note.

_Dear William Shatner,_

_If the beam down went according to plan, then all of your memories have been, as McCoy so eloquently put it, 'stuffed into the back of your mind.' He does have a way with words, doesn't he?_

_You saved the world only a few hours ago. It's hard to believe but you did do it. Remember? You were so surprised that the Enterprise really existed. Well, this is James T. Kirk writing you, and I'm telling you- The USS Enterprise representing the United Federation of Planets really exists._

Memories rushed forward from the back of Shatner's mind. He had saved the world- the Klingons were going to destroy it, but he...and Nimoy, Takei, Koenig, and Nichols- had saved the world and the Federation!

_As a souvenir we've decided to give you- along with all the other actors- a phaser. Just in case any more Klingons stir up trouble!_

_I hope you don't mind, but we stole a few of your Star Trek DVD's. Let me be the first to tell you: you portrayed me wonderfully. I have to admit, you got my personality down, though I do NOT fight that way and I hope I'm not as melodramatic._

_Don't worry. Just as you've helped us- we've helped you. That pesky Carlotta Richards will never report on your disappearance, and there's nothing like some sabotage to a picture of a Klingon ship._

_Bill, it's been a pleasure meeting you and, though we may not meet again, I wish we could._

_Live Long and Prosper,_

_James T. Kirk and the USS Enterprise_

This isn't the end yet. Can the author be so terrible as to not let Bones and Scotty see their actors? Find out...in the last chappie!


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you all for reviewing. Gosh, you guys are nice. I love this story, it's my favorite I've written so far. This, I think, is my fav chappie besides the second. So, here you go! And thanks again, reviewers! You make me smile. :) ) :P

Epilouge: The End of Something...or the Beginning?

Kirk watched, on the screen, Shatner's delighted and slightly confused face. Shatner looked up at the sky and smiled. Mission accomplished.

"Everyone has received their letters and phasers." Sulu reported. "Now, should we set course to the sun?"

Kirk nodded. He glanced at the members of the bridge. Uhura was sad that she could never see Nichols again, and Sulu and Chekov were staring glumly at their stations. Even Spock seemed a little melancholy too. Only two faces were not sad- in fact, they were angry: McCoy and Scotty. "What's wrong, Bones?" Kirk asked.

"You've got to socialize with your actor!" McCoy snapped. "But me and Scotty have been left out. From what I've heard, I really would have liked to meet that DeForest Kelley."

"Aye," agreed Scotty, "and James Doohan. Ah well. Suppose the timing wasn't right."

Kirk almost laughed. "Timing? We're on a starship that's capable of time travel. We've got all the time in the world!"

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November 23, 1998

DeForest Kelley was lying on a sofa, immensely bored. He was flicking channels when his wife Carolyn walked in. "Hon, you alright?"

"Fine." De answered. "Where ya going?"

"To the movies with Nancy." Carolyn answered. "Want to come with?"

"I'd rather stay here, darling." De replied, kissing her cheek. "Have fun."

"I will." she promised. "Don't have too much fun without me!"

De sighed, smiling. He had a good life, full of leisure and love. He leaned back on the couch. The doorbell rang. He went to answer it. "Hey...James?"

"Hey De!" James Doohan said. "You wanted me over here?"

"I...didn't call you." De replied, a bit confused.

"No, you did!" James argued. "You called me and asked if I could come over. Sounded like you, anyway...though you did yell at a 'pointy-eared hobgoblin' in the background."

"I didn't call you." De said. "But...no matter. Come in. Have a drink."

The two actors sat down and chatted for a while. "Want some more wine?" De asked, not hearing a door creak.

"If ya have any Scotch I'll take it." Doohan replied.

"What about Romulan Ale?" a voice from the door said. "That'd be nice. For medical purposes only, though." The two men spun around.

"Did we have too much to drink?" Doohan asked.

"What are you seeing?"

"The same as what you're seeing."

"Well, one of us has to say what we're seeing."

"You say it."

"No...you."

"I'm seeing...our younger..."

"Selves." De completed. "But, how..."

"Ah, with a vessel as fine as da Enterprise," Scotty said, "time travel is easy."

"This is...real?" Doohan asked.

McCoy walked up and took a sip of the wine. "It's real, alright."

"So, Dr. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy is real?" De asked. "I was actually portraying you?!"

"And a damn fine job you did too." McCoy said. "Though I personally yell at Spock a lot more."

"I have ta say ya did a good job as well, James." Scotty said.

"Are you convinced we're not drunken hallucinations anymore?" McCoy asked.

De glanced at Doohan. "Where's my manners?" De asked. "Want something to drink?"

"Bourbon." Scotty said.

McCoy sighed. "I bet you don't have Romulan Ale."

"Nope."

"Then some whiskey." McCoy said.

The men conversed for a long time. Minutes seemed like seconds, De noted. He talked with McCoy about everything- from Vulcans to hyposprays. "Explain to me again how solid material can be sprayed through the skin." De said, which is a question the author has always wondered as well.

Doohan and Scotty were talking mainly about the engines. "I've always wondered how the transporters really worked." Doohan said.

But all good things must come to an end. McCoy and Scotty went out on the porch. "I'm sorry, but Jim'll have our hides if we're not on the Enterprise in two minutes." McCoy said.

"Will we see ya again?" De asked.

"How should I know?" McCoy replied. "I'm a doctor, not a fortune teller!" De chuckled sadly.

"Take these." Scotty said, tossing each of them a phaser. "Just in case."

"Does...any of the other actors know?" Doohan asked.

"No. They learn after you." Scotty said.

"We'll have to keep this to ourselves?" De asked.

"I'm sorry, but we couldn't have told you later."

"Why not?" Doohan asked.

Scotty and McCoy exchanged a glance. "Never mind." Scotty said. "You can at least talk wi each other."

"That's something." De whispered. "So...all of this is real."

"It is." McCoy said. "Goodbye, DeForest. Nice meeting you."

"I feel like I've always known you." De replied. "But it was nice to see the real you."

"Goodbye, James." Scotty said. "It was nice talking ta someone who wanted to hear about the engines."

Doohan laughed. "Goodbye."

De pulled McCoy to the side. "We're...we're dead, Bones. When the others find out. Aren't we?"

"Think of it this way." McCoy said. "Me and Scotty haven't even been born yet." The two beamed up.

"I...this is enough excitement for a night." Doohan said. "I'll speak with ya tomorrow."

"See ya." De whispered.

He sat down on his sofa, fingering the phaser. Words like 'impossible' and 'hallucination' scrolled through his doubtful mind. He fired the phaser at the wall. Where there was once a poster of Carolyn's, now there was nothing. Words like 'amazing' and 'real' scrolled through his confused and delighted mind.

De popped in a Star Trek DVD. He watched himself play 'Bones' McCoy, the role taking on a new meaning for him.

"Darling?" Carolyn asked, arriving. "You there?"

"I'm here." De answered.

"Are you coming to bed?" Carolyn asked.

"Just a minute." De replied, walking out to the porch.

He looked at the stars. At Space. The Final Frontier. Somewhere out there, the voyages of the starship Enterprise would be made. They would explore strange new worlds, and seek out new life and new civilizations. He, DeForest Kelley, would never know the whole story of the Enterprise. His missions as Dr. McCoy had only lasted three seasons and six movies- the real Dr. McCoy's would last five years. He knew he would die...die before Shatner or Nimoy even knew the Enterprise really existed. He didn't feel bad. Rather, it almost felt the same way when they filmed the last episode of Star Trek. The end of something. But as he looked out into the stars, he had another feeling. The beginning of something new.

FIN

Are there other questions still in the readers' minds? Such as...how did Gene Roddenberry even find out about the Federation? Did the Klingon ship really get destroyed by the sun? And can the author be as mean to never let the bridge members and the actors reunite? If you want to find out the answers to these questions and more, review me and...find out in the sequel!


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